How to stay sane during these impossible times
Who could have guess that six months ago when I went on my well deserved vacation, that six months later I would still be stranded in another country. As a control freak, having no control has become a nightmare. Living with so much uncertainty. With a skinny wallet. No savings and crumbling relationships. People are losing themselves, day by day searching outcomes that come to nothing. My husband and I am both faced with the same questions and answers as our blessing of meeting at work, working for the same company now has us both facing the same unfortunate event of when we will return to work.
Faced to do things we have never done before. In the middle of a war. Faith vs uncertainty.
We cannot have faith but not do anything about a situation. What to do if you dont know what to do.
So much reflecting has happened during these six months that even during all the hardship I am certain that we are either going to come out of this stronger or defeated. Defeated, only if we let it. I have turned to things that feel like my only hope. Like God is trying to tell me something. Like this is him pushing me towards where I belong. We need to be brave.
When in a comfort zone certain things can eat away at us, unnoticed. Procrastination now soars down on you like a fire breathing dragon.
Social media eats away at your positivity with all the negative posts, but what else is there to do. Your husband finds your presence boring, 24/7 in the presence of the same person. We have nothing to talk about because we have become one. Our lives is exactly the same everyday, every hour and every minute.
I have realised how dependent we have become. There should be wifi at home and when we go out we choose the restaurant that has a huge colorful sign "free wifi" we have to be connected, while we are focused on being connected to the world, we become less and less connected to those closest to us.
We need to be connected. No doubt about that. To many, it is our bread and butter. However, what about moderation. I have a point here, because I speak from experience. Thinking to a time when I was a child. Something that back then, at first was hard to accept but now appreciate. A time before wifi...
Father, had a rant. Out of anger he cut the cable of the tv and from that day forward forbid us of having a tv at home. What fuelled that desicion was selfish and a topic for another post. for more than ten years we did not have a television at home, but what I have noticed was that communication have become strong. Nights were spend on my parents bed with a cup of tea. Looking at it now I see a strong formed bond. It shaped us differently. Time is lost, if we let it. I remember my sister coming home from school one day, saying. Her teacher had a tantrum, lined up the whole class with detention and told them to go home, look in the mirror and tell themselves to get rid of their "tv manners", upon which my sister stood up and replied.
"What should I do, because we don't have a tv." The teacher replied that she could see that through her good behaviour. Now I am not saying cut the cord, but find the balance.
We went to sleep at night without saying goodnight to each other, the phone the last thing we touched. We woke up in the mornings without saying good morning, the phone the first thing we touched.
Limit social media
To me, reflecting has created awareness. I needed a break from browsing senseless posts of uninfluentual negative people and limit my daily social media towards those posts I could take something away from. We need it to stay up to date and informed, but in moderation.Those people we unconsciously waste our valuable time on, dont even know we exist.
2. Space
This one is very important, something I am guilty of. Something I need alot of, but afraid to ask for. Ever since we met, we were inseperable. It is beautiful right? I long for the first 3months of our relationship everyday. That space, we didn't give each other has now killed us. During our three years of marriage, we have had forced breaks due to work circumstances. For every 2-3months together we were seperated between 1-2months in between during our first 3 years together. We thought it was horrible. All we wanted was to be together. Perhaps it is what saved us.
3. Meditate
This is one that I never really understood. People finding themselves through meditation. Switching off from the world. How? Sitting quietly in a room truly lets you focus, breathing lets you relax. having a chance to not think at all, does wonders for an over-analyzing mind like my own. Take 30minutes in the morning, followed by a cold shower that really energizes the body. If you have kids and this is not possible, try it during your break time at work, or at night before you go to bed, but make sure you make time for your self to not think at all.
4. Fasting
My husband started this one, so we could get in shape and save money. Little did I know what other positive effects fasting will have on me. Junk food makes me lazy, period. Fasting has helped me be more productive. Think clearly. It is like my body is looking for satisfaction elsewhere.
5. Excercise
Fasting and Excersizing goes hand in hand. Not only do you feel your best but you can look your best while feeling your best. Start slow. Excersizing has never been something I was disciplined at. Still I am not. My husband motivates me. Little by little you will feel your body adjust and before you know it you will be more fit and healthy. It is proven that it takes two months of constant discipline until something becomes a habit.
6. Gardening
Now this is not one for everyone, and I am not saying go out and grow greenfingers to stay sane. This is one that relaxes me and makes me feel proud of being able to grow something. I did started this because of our situation. It is like...
"I want to get out of this world."
Life can become so demanding with mortgages, and all kinds of debts.
Many years ago when I just started working I read a book by Susie Orman. How she advised on setting yourself up for 6months. Should you lose your job. I always had it in the back of my head, but never did it. Who would have guessed that pork infected by a bat would drastically change the world. I want to grow my own food as much as possible, in order to limit the grocery list and be less dependant.
7. Hobby
You can find any hobby that let's you break free from this world. Writing for me allows me to break free from this world and enter another. It helps me forget about the worries that keeps us up at night. This kind of productivity of finishing a chapter or blog post adds so much to that "feel good" factor.
If you feel stuck and troublesome, start by doing something different than usual today. Free your thoughts and heal your mind.
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