Months has passed

“The secret to getting ahead is getting started.” ...

I started a blog, became discouraged and dissapeared. Re-read my posts weeks later and decided that I had nothing to write a post about at that moment. I didn't feel like a blogger, I am a writer. I was struggling with the challenges of whether I was doing enough as a writer. Was my writing what others would want to read? Was it good enough? I actually think it is very good and it can still improve. That is my thoughts on a good day. Then comes that bad one where I drown in my own negative thoughts thinking what am I doing. Then my husband confirms it, when he tells me to stop living in a fantasy world.

Does he think I am not good enough? I am wondering. Perhaps he just doesnt believe I am capable of such success story. How can I expect him to believe in me if somedays I have a hard time myself.

Between all that, I struggled with finding the motivation and time to attend to my blog. I dont have anything to offer anyone. I would tell myself. Then ask myself what could I possibly offer anyone, worth their time. I write fiction. What I write about is not real.

Months has passed like this, I was working on my debut novel, studying as much as I could about writing. Reading about "how to write a bestseller. Things like writing a bestseller in a week. Absurd, I thought. Then one day I did another search, in the midst of frustration and procrastination. Reading on social media about how much writers write per day. Writers that write three chapters a day? Magnificent. I was officially horrible at writing. That is when i decided to turn to google. "How much does famous authors write per day" i ask google.

There it was. I wasnt too bad.

Great names in writing didnt write what you would think is alot at all. And so, it breathed motivation back into my veins. I was aspiring to daily reach Stephen Kings count, which made me daily, feel productive and accomplished. Even if I didnt reach Kings count, I still passed many counts of other great well known authors. This method help my paragraphs to stay powerful and creative. Rather than follow the counts of whatever I read online. If it was possible to successfully finish three chapter in a day, then that one should be able to finish a novel in ten days? Can good books be finished in ten days? I doubt. Not even J.K Rowling can do that. Why waste time on something you would believe to be anything less of a bestseller...oh because you write for the love of it.

Is it worth doing it for love?

This is when I came to a decision, I wasnt going to let my writing rot on a virtual amazon shelf. I was proud of what I was doing and realized that if I was going to be successful, then I would need a strategy, and rather like everyone else who offers you tips on writing a bestseller with figures, I decided that I would document this journey from the beginning.

Share the process. Where I am now, my next move and what that moves outcome will be. Because what I have learned, is that it looks so simple from the outside looking in, until you are on the inside. Refreshing that report every 30minutes in of the day.